Guess whose coming to dinner?
by DowagerMcGonagall
Summary: The team needs to find Andrew Garner. They do through May's contact but there's a catch. Dinner with May's mom. Can May survive this dinner and the team meeting Andrew Garner? Will Coulson get to have his favorite meal in peace? All questions will be answered. With a Yes hopefully.
1. Chapter 1

May's mom is awesome and I thought this would be a fun way to introduce her and May's Ex. Also I love any show/story that has a dinner party.

I don't own anything.

* * *

"This guy doesn't even have a listed phone number. How are we even supposed to contact him?" asks Skye

"May has a contact that should have the number." says Coulson

"And if they don't?"

"It won't come to that I think." says Coulson pointing to May across the room who seems to be grimacing.

"Looks like bad news to me."

"Knowing the contact its definitely good news."

Before Skye can ask who the contact is, May walks over to the pair of them.

"Skye can you bring the others over here." says May.

"But what about the phone number."

May says nothing and Skye leaves to round up the others.

"She has it."

"But…there's a catch right. Does she want you to quit?"

"Worse."

"What can be worse than her wanting you to quit."

* * *

"Dinner?" asks Skye

"What kind of contact offers dinner in exchange for a number?" asks Mack

"Who cares if it means free food." says Hunter

"You aren't coming." states May

"May, she said everyone on the team."

"Just because she's making your favorite dish doesn't mean you have to take her side."

"I'm not taking her side. I just want to have a pleasant time and eat my favorite food."

"So we go and get the guys number then?" asks Fitz

"No. He's coming after dinner." says Coulson

"So it's a meet and greet at this contacts house. Who is this contact then May, your mom?" Skye says jokingly.

"Yes." deadpans Mays

"Aww that is so sweet. Your mom wanting to have dinner with us." says Simmons

"That really is. So how are we getting there then?" asks Bobbi

"Driving. Tomorrow at noon. Mrs. May won't allow planes on her property. I think two cars should do it and pack a bag. Report early for breakfast, I believe May has some rules to go over. "

* * *

Next chapter will be the rules that May set and part one of the road trip. If anyone has any ideas for what the rules should be leave a comment.


	2. The Rules and Road Trip Pt 1

I own nothing. My location for the Playground is somewhere near DC.

* * *

The next day everyone but Coulson and May are down in the kitchens eating breakfast.

"I can't believe we get to meet May's mom. I didn't even know she had a mom." says Skye

"Did you think she was born an adult Skye?" asks Simmons

"No but you know she's May its…"

"Hard to see her as a kid." finishes Fitz

Skye and Simmons nod in agreement as Coulson walks into the kitchen.

"Morning, May down yet?"

"Haven't seen her since tai-chi this morning." says Skye

"What's she like anyway?" asks Mack

"Mrs. May? Well she's a retired from the CIA a couple of years ago. She's intense but has sort of calm presence."

"Sort of like May." says Skye as Coulson nods in agreement

May enters of few moments with a notepad.

"How many rules have you got for us then?" asks Hunter

"All within reason I hope." says Coulson

"Of course. Hunter, I don't want you talking at all before and after dinner. You say nothing the whole time we are there. Only speak when spoken too. I don't want to hear any of your snarky comments."

"What, that's no fair. Coulson?"

"Her rules."

"No one is allowed on the third floor without my permission or my Mother's. If a door is locked don't try to break in and don't go into doors that are closed unless you are allowed in."

"Are there deathtraps in this house or something?" asks Bobbi

May doesn't answer her but continues on with her list after seeing the horrified looks on the faces of FitzSimmons and Skye.

"No shoes on in the house, no singing of any kind, no running in the house but you may run outside."

"How old do you think we are May?" asks Fitz

"Not old enough. Any questions?"

Simmons raises her hand.

"I have two. Where does your Mom live and how should we address her?"

"She lives in the woods in Pennsylvania and Mrs. May should suffice unless she says otherwise. Anything else."

Coulson raises his hand.

"Its not a question but more of a request. Don't leave May alone with her mother for more than five minutes."

"Why?"

"She's been trying to get me to leave for years now by any means necessary." states May

"It hasn't worked yet but she is persistent." finishes Coulson.

* * *

"It's gonna be okay you know that right." says Coulson to May as they are finishing prepping the cars and with for the team to arrive.

"Is it? Meeting my mother and Andrew in the same day. This is only going to end in disaster."

"Just because you think that doesn't mean that it will happen. You don't know everything."

"I know enough."

"What are the car arrangements going to be?" asks Coulson

"As long as I get to drive and Hunter is not in the same car as me I don't care." says Mays as she gets into drivers side of the SUV.

Coulson shakes his head in amusement and addresses the team as they gather near the cars.

"Mack your driving the other car. We'll stop in two hours for a break. Hunter you are not allowed in that car under any circumstances. Everyone else pick a car."

"Why does she hate me so much?" asks Hunter

"You shot her and me in the back and you almost shot Simmons." says Skye walking towards May's car not wanting to start an argument with him.

"I apologized and she shot me why does no one remember that." says Hunter getting in the other car.

"This is going to be a long two hours" says Bobbi getting in the same car that Hunter is in.

"If you want we can sit together after the break." says Simmons trying to give Fitz his space but still trying to repair their friendship.

Fitz nods and begins to walk towards the other car

"You're not sitting with Fitz?" asks Skye as Simmons gets into the car

"We're gonna sit together after the break. If that's okay."

"There's no rule against musical car seats is there May."

"Not yet there isn't." says May as she starts the car.

* * *

"When did you last see your Mom anyway?" asks Skye from the backseat.

"She picked me up when I left Providence."

"From Pennsylvania!?" asks Simmons

"Forgot about that. Was she angry?" asks Coulson

"That you thought I was Hydra and practically kicked me off the team. She was overjoyed."

"Right. When we take that break make sure its near a Walmart or something."

"You are going to try to gain favor with Mama May with something from Walmart?" asked Skye

"Mama May?" asked Simmons

"I'm testing it out what do you think. If she likes me I may try it."

"Dear God." says May

* * *

"Will you stop changing the radio? Leave it on one station." says Bobbi as she leans up from the backseat and smacks Mack's hand away.

"Everything is on commercial. Its either a commercial or some song that gives me a headache"

"We could play a car game. I spy, twenty questions" says Fitz from the backseat

"The picnic game. Let's play that." says Hunter

"No way Hunter. That will only end in you whining because you lost that one time."

"That was one time Bobbi. I promise I won't."

"I guess we're playing this then. Is this the one where we have to remember what we brought in order?" asks Mack

"Yep."

"I'll play as long as Turbo does."

Fitz nods.

"I'll start then. I went to a picnic and brought…"

* * *

"What if this guy doesn't want to help me? Can he even help me?" asks Skye

"He can and he will Skye." says Coulson

"And if he doesn't?" asks Simmons

"It won't come to that. Trust me." says May

"Does Mama May have something on this guy? How do they know each other anyway?"

May sighs and grips the steering wheel harder. Coulson looks over at her realizing that she is not ready just yet to tell anyone about her past with Andrew.

"Hey May, did I ever tell you when I first met your Mom."

"I know you thought it was when you introduced us but it sort of explains the disdain she had of me at first. I was in your dorm room trying to get you back after you tied all my clothes together. She walked in just as I was about to pour syrup on your bed."

"You are so unoriginal." says May as Skye and Jemma laugh quietly

"I know. So she asked me who I was and why she shouldn't report me for trespassing in the girl dorms. And I said its not trespassing if you have a key."

"You're the reason my all access key went missing. I thought I lost it."

"Sorry about that. Looks like I'm buying two items at Walmart then."

Both Skye and Simmons notice the change in subject as Coulson continues to talk about how May's mom lectured him. They glance at each other and silently agree to tell the others what they learned.

* * *

What do you want Coulson to buy Mama May and May? Who do you want sitting with who for the second part of the road trip? Leave a comment.


	3. Break and Road Trip Pt 2

I own nothing. Thank you for the comments.

* * *

May pulled into a shopping center that yes Coulson it does have a Walmart.

"Okay do what you need to do and meet back here in 45 minutes." says Coulson heading off towards the Walmart.

May heads off to a Subway while the others hang back deciding on where to go.

"Guys wait, we need a plan." says Skye

"Plan?" asks Mack

"May avoided the question and Coulson changed the subject when we asked how Mama May knows Dr. Garner." says Simmons

"Mama May?" asks Fitz

"Really Skye, Mama May." says Hunter

"What. Its catchy." shrugs Skye

"I can give it a try. You and Simmons can ride with the boys on the second leg. I update you if possible." says Bobbi

Both Skye and Simmons nod and the pair of them along with Fitz walk into the Walmart.

"You're really gonna do it." says Hunter

"Eh, no harm no foul. Its all in good fun."

"May's right. We aren't old enough." says Mack shaking his head walking towards the McDonalds with both Bobbi and Hunter in tow.

* * *

"You want to do what Fitz?" asks Simmons walking through the aisles.

"We should bring something to the dinner because its um..." says Fitz trying to find the word

"Customary. So what did you have in mind."

* * *

"What are you getting her?" asks Skye when she catches up with Coulson.

"Which her? You're getting better at sneaking up on people." he says not looking at her.

"Learned from the best. Either one."

"No idea. Any thoughts."

"You know them both better than I do. I probably could help with May's gift but otherwise I've got no idea."

"Well l know Mrs. May enjoys gardening. Maybe I'll buy her some flowers. I'll just text May and see which ones are her favorite."

"Does May not want to have dinner with her mother or something? She just seemed upset about the whole thing."

"Its not that. I think it more of the fact that we're all coming along with her. May's a private person you know that and all of you guys meeting her mother is a lot to take in."

"Is May afraid that we'll hear embarrassing stories about her childhood or something."

"Not in the least." says May sneaking up on the pair of them

"Good God woman are you trying to kill us. Maybe you should buy this one some squeaky shoes." says Skye jumping around to face a smirking May

"I did that once. Didn't help one bit. What kind of flowers does your mother like?" asks Coulson

"Flowers. Your trying to make it up to her with flowers? She's really not that angry about it."

"Well I can't just apologize can I. I should at least do something."

Before May can respond, they run into FitzSimmons who are both holding items.

"Oh there you are sir. Can we borrow thirty dollars?" asks Simmons

"For what?"

"Oh nothing just a thank you present for Mrs. May for having us for dinner."

Coulson says nothing as May hands them her credit card.

"Oh so they can get your Mom something but I can't." says Coulson walking away from them

"If you want to get her something go ahead. I'm not stopping you." says May walking after him not before handing Skye a folded piece of paper.

"So what are you guys buying then?" asks Skye as she starts to unfold the paper

* * *

Back at the cars Bobbi, Hunter, and Mack watch the others exiting Walmart. Both Fitz and Simmons carry a couple bags, Skye eating some candy and looking at a sheet of paper, and Coulson carrying a giant vase that seemed to contain a forest of flowers.

"Buy out the whole store sir?" asks Mack

"Just about." Coulson replies smiling as he struggles to open the back door of the car. He looks towards May who rolls her eyes before helping him and then gets into the drivers seat.

"Okay, is anyone else other than Simmons going to change seats?" asks Coulson as he closes the door.

"Quite a few." says Skye walking towards the other car with both Fitz and Simmons.

"You're gonna have to sit in the back sir." says Bobbi from the front seat.

* * *

"What are you guys doing back there?" asks Hunter from the drivers seat

"Making something for Mrs. May." says Simmons

"Why?"

"She didn't have to make dinner for us." says Fitz

"Hand me the screwdriver Skye."

"Sure just give me a minute, May gave me a new set of rules to follow."

"Seriously." says Hunter

Skye nods and holds up a paper titled _Skye's Rules_.

"Glad I'm not the only one she hates. What are they then?"

"You are the only one. I can't tell you its one of the rules."

"Seriously. Give it here." says Lance as he reaches behind him and tries to grab the paper from Skye.

Everyone yelled as the car swerved and Mack reached over and tried to steady the steering wheel before they went off the road and crashed.

"Uh Oh." says Simmons

* * *

"What's going on Bobbi?" asks May

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well something is going on. You in here, the rest in the other car, and I'm in the back. Something is going on." says Coulson

"Skye and Simmons mentioned a change of subject when they wanted to know the relationship between your mom and Doctor Garner. I told them I'd try to ask you about it. I'll just tell them it was a bust. Unless you want me to know."

"You won't say a word to them until I'm ready for them to know." says May and looks over and sees Bobbi nod knowing that she will keep her word.

"He's my ex."

"The ex you haven't talked to in whose knows how long. He's the one whose going to help Skye. May you are a saint."

"That's what I said. Oh hang on, Skye's calling me. Hello. Fire. How did that happen? They What. In The Car. May stop the car."

Once May stops, they get out and see the other car smoking. The others are standing outside the car smiling and waving.

"I'm going go call my mother and tell her we may be late."

"What happened?" asks Coulson looking at FitzSimmons

"We were trying to fuse some wires together but they fell to the floor when Hunter took his eyes off the road." says Simmons

"It all happened so fast." says Fitz

"Is everything alright with the car though?"

"I believe so. We should be good to go in about twenty minutes." replies Mack as he tries to air out the car

Skye not wanting to wait next to smoking car walks over to Bobbi who is sitting in the other car.

"Did you find anything out?"

Bobbi glances toward the others and sees May talking with the others trying to figure out how in the world FitzSimmons lit the car on fire.

"She said if you needed to know you'll know." says Bobbi not giving anything away

"She told you didn't she. Does she think I'll blurt it to the world? "

"Blurt what to the world?" asks Coulson as he's getting into the car

"Nothing. How much longer do we have anyway."

"Depending on traffic, at least thirty minutes. You getting in?" asks May as she starts the car

"I rather smell flowers than burnt carpet."

* * *

About forty five minutes later the cars end up on a dirt road and they are starting to drive deeper and deeper into the forest.

"May, not like I don't trust you or anything but this looks like a beginning of a horror movie." says Skye

"Good. That's means we're getting close."

Soon after the while, the cars turn onto a gravel paved road. They eventually slow down and come to a stop in front of a modern day cabin that looks big enough to house most of the people at the Playground. Even though its mid-afternoon it is impossible to see through some of windows that are on the front side of the house.

"Holy Moley." says Fitz

"That is a big house." says Mack

"Maybe we'll have time to run around outside and play tag."

"I thought you were supposed to silent from here on out." says Simmons to Hunter as she gets out of the car

"What May doesn't know won't hurt her." says Hunter as he walks towards the others

"I forgot to say this earlier but it should be understood, don't touch anything especially if it looks breakable. Does anyone need me to go over the rules again? Hunter?" asks May as she glances over at him who shakes his head.

"Good"

May turns and walks up the path toward front door. Once closer to the cabin shrubs covered in purple flowers can be seen surrounding it. Once at the door May reaches for the handle but finds that there isn't one. She begins to bang on the door.

"What's wrong?" asks Skye

"There's no handle. She must of changed the door. Again."

"Well figure something out, these flowers are getting heavy." groans Coulson as he struggles with holding the giant vase of flowers and his suitcase.

"I told you not to buy them. Hang on there's an open window up there. I'll be right back."

May begins to climb up the white trellis that is situated underneath the open window. Once she reaches the top of the trellis, she lifts herself up onto the windowsill and slips into the house.

"You ever been here before sir?" asks Simmons

"Couple of times. House parties and the like." replies Coulson as he continues to struggle with the vase

"Wonder what's taking her so long. I need to use the bathroom." says Skye who begins to hop from one foot to another.

"I thought I was the only one." says Fitz who begins to copy Skye's movements.

"Oh look here she comes."

"Finally. May take this and show us to the nearest bathroom." says Coulson as the door opens not being able to see who opened the door due to the amount of flowers that are in the vase.

"May…May. I know you think the flowers are too much but just hold them for me. Why did you guys stop hopping? Oh."

"Hello Phillip." says Mrs. May as Coulson pokes his head through the flowers.

* * *

Finally they got to the house. What are FitzSimmons making for Mama May? Skye's rules will come up in the next chapter. Leave a comment


	4. Settling In

Thanks for the comments guys. I own nothing.

* * *

"Hi, Mrs. May. I thought you were Melinda." says Coulson with his head still in the flowers

"I gathered. Where is my daughter?" asks Mrs. May as she silently observes the rest of the team

"She went through the window." says Skye

"Always impatient, Qiaolian is. Bathroom is the first door on your right. Phillip, the flowers look lovely. I know exactly where to put them."

Coulson follows Mrs. May to the living room while the others line up at the bathroom door.

"How was the drive?"

"Good. Not alot traffic." Coulson replies hoping that May appears to recuse him from the impending conversation

"She told you then."

"Told me that you might be angry with me. Not in so many words but yes."

"I'm not angry. Was I upset that I had to drive over 500 miles to pick her up? Yes. Did it give me another reason to convince her to leave SHIELD? Yes. So am I angry with you? No."

"Told you. Hello Mom. Where is everyone?" says May walking up behind Coulson

"Bathroom."

"What's with the door?" asks May sitting on the red leather couch behind her

"State of the art. Face recognition." answers Mrs. May as she sits on the couch across from May

"Why doesn't it recognize me then?"

"When was the last time you visited me? Anyway the man who installed it just uploaded my picture. Technology and all that. Maybe one of them can do it for me." says Mrs. May as she points to the others who have finished with the bathroom.

"Oh I can help with that. Unless you have pictures of May here, its going to be very difficult to get her to take a picture. I think she's camera shy. No idea why. I mean if I looked as good as she does at her age…not like I know how old she is anyway or when her birthday is. I mean what if I want to celebrate it or something. It must be in the genes right. I mean you must have turned a few heads back in the day. What? Why is everyone staring at me?" says Skye as she nervously chuckles which results in a slight shaking of the cabin.

"That I did. You must be Skye and I do have pictures just not recent ones. I tell you what, before Andrew gets here how about I tell you how I met Qiaolian's father." says Mrs. May not phased by the rumbling

The others nod and May just rolls her eyes and hopes that the evening is relatively painless.

"Okay. Guys this is my mother, Mrs. May. Mom meet Leo Fitz, Jemma Simmons, Bobbi Morse, Alfonso Mackenzie, and you know Skye. Oh and Lance Hunter."

"You're the mercenary aren't you?" she asks and Lance just nods

"Not much of a talker are you? Qiaolian will show you to your rooms since you're spending the night. Dinner will be ready in an hour. There is a patio out back and walking path that leads to a lake if you want to run around outside and play tag. Be on time or you don't eat." says Mrs. May as she gets up and walks to the kitchen.

* * *

May leads the group up the stairs, that have pictures of different places and May at different ages on the wall leading upstairs.

"How'd she know about wanting to play tag?" asks Simmons

"She has cameras everywhere except for the bathrooms I believe." says Coulson looking to May to correct him but she doesn't say anything.

Once they reach the top of the stairs, May puts her bag down outside a door and faces the team.

"The room at the end of the hall is my mothers'. This is mine. Those two are yours, guys and girls. They both have a full bathroom."

"What about me?" asks Coulson as the others walk into their rooms.

"Couch. Downstairs." says May walking into her room as Coulson follows

"But my back. I can't sleep on a couch. Why can't I sleep in here? Your bed is huge?" says Coulson now pouting at May

"Fine." says May laying on the bed closing her eyes

"Thank you" says Coulson as he does the same.

* * *

Once settled the others decided to go down to the patio and walk to the lake. The patio is paved with gray stone and in the middle there is a fountain with a koi pond.

"This place is really beautiful." says Bobbi as they walk down the path towards the lake.

"And peaceful. A very nice place to retire. You're taking this whole don't talk thing seriously aren't you Hunter." says Mack as Hunter just nods and looks around trying to find the cameras.

"I don't want to anger her and get extra duties." he whispers

"What the matter Skye?" asks Simmons who with Fitz slows down when Skye stops walking.

"I think I made a bad impression. Why didn't anyone stop me? Then I shook her house."

"I thought you would stop on your own. Also I don't think she noticed the shaking."

"You were nervous. Its no big deal." says Fitz

"I just wanted her to like me. Especially since I want to try to call her Mama May."

"Skye, it will be okay. Can you really not tell us what was on your list or was that just to tick off Hunter?" asks Simmons once they begin to walk again.

"It was rule number three actually. The first rule is I get three questions to ask Mama May. May probably doesn't want me asking a million questions trying to learn about her childhood. The second one is no sneaking around the house looking for pictures to bring back with me. Like I would do that right guys." she finishes and looks around and finds FitzSimmons walking away from her at a fast pace.

* * *

"It smells good Mrs. May. Do you need any help?" asks Coulson as he walks into the kitchen

"You can set the table, Phillip. How is she?"

"Tired. Worried how the night is going to go." he answers as he walks towards the cabinets that holds the plates

"The others, they don't know."

"Only Bobbi knows. I told her it will be fine but she thinks otherwise. Did you tell him?"

"I told him that someone needed his expertise. He'll help the girl though. It'll be okay." she says reassuringly

* * *

Dinner, story time, and a visitor in the next chapter. I may post the next one later tonight. We'll see.


	5. Dinner and Storytime

Thanks for the comments guys. Glad you guys like the story

* * *

An hour later, everyone found themselves gathered in the kitchen. The dinner table was covered in a variety of foods that looked absolutely delicious. Mrs. May took her seat at the head of the table while May took hers at the opposite end. Skye took hers next to Mrs. May in hopes to ask her some questions. Next to her sat Simmons and Fitz who had promised to stop Skye if she started rambling again. Coulson decided to sit on the other side of Mrs. May along with Hunter, Mack, and Bobbi.

"No one eats until we pass around all of the dishes." says Mrs. May as she scoops some fried rice on her plate and passes it to Skye who then passes the egg rolls to Simmons.

"Now Phillip, I made you your own plate of shrimp lo mein and Qiaolian don't eat all of the lemon chicken." she says to a smiling Coulson and a May who stops piling the lemon chicken on her plate.

"You have a lovely home. Did you design it?" says Bobbi as she passes the roast beef and assorted vegetables to Mack.

"No, but I decorated the inside. It was a retirement and an I owe you an apology gift from Nicholas actually." she says drinking some red wine.

"Nicholas? As in Director Fury?" asks Fitz who seems to be really enjoying his meal

"Yes. Before I retired, he walked into my office in that ridiculous outfit of his and handed me the keys. I didn't move in until my place in New York was destroyed. When I arrived the only thing that was here was a card that said I'm sorry. He has always been a cryptic man."

"Don't you mean was, Mom. He's dead." says May staring down her Mom

"Is he?" she responds staring back at her as she continues to eat

"What was he apologizing for?" asks Mack

"No idea but the next thing I knew this one was flying that one's plane." she says pointing to May then Coulson

"Her plane. It's her plane now. So was he apologizing for not keeping his word I'm guessing." says Coulson softly while glancing at May

"It was my decision." says May as everyone is looking back and forth between her and her mom.

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

"Okay, before this turns into something rather depressing. May said it was okay if I asked you some questions and nothings off limits. She's really letting me have at it." says Skye as Simmons makes a coughing noise

"Right I'm rambling again. What is your favorite memory of May as a child?"

"I gonna need some whiskey." says May getting up from her chair

* * *

"Qiaolian was a well-behaved child, she had a rebellious streak in her as she aged but it was expected. Let's see, she was about ten at the time I believe when I invited a few of the heads and retired heads of a couple of agencies to my house. Now I was supposed it was a Friday because I was to pick Qiaolian up from school."

"We were going to spend the weekend doing whatever I wanted." says May smiling

"Well I forgot as you remember and sought to remind me the entire weekend." she says as the others laugh at the thought.

"My house as you can imagine was littered with bodyguards inside and out. So myself and the others are behind closed doors in the study and all of a sudden we hear the door handles jiggle. So all five of us draw our weapons and open the door and find nothing. Not even the bodyguard who was supposed to be stationed there."

"Then all of a sudden there is a small creak behind us and there is Qiaolian in a chair facing down all of our guns." says Mrs. May smiling fondly at the memory

"How'd she get in the room?" asks Mack

"That's exactly was Peggy said. To this day I still have no idea."

"Peggy? As in Peggy Carter? Director Carter? You know Director Carter. " asks Simmons directed at May who just nodded

"Whose rambling now? What happened next?" says Skye while laughing at Simmons

"Well we all dropped our guns and Qiaolian asked where I was and who these people were. There was only one answer to those two questions."

"Work. Then you said we're almost finished." says May while she pours herself another drink

"Then you walked out of the room not before telling us that our details need work considering a child got past all of them. Peggy called me soon after and told me that when you were old enough she was going to recruit you."

"And you told her that you would do everything in your power to prevent that from happening." finishes May.

"Only time I lost to Peggy though. Now who wants dessert. Quiet mercenary and Leopold come help me bring these into the living room." says Mrs. May getting up from her seat

"I'm glad she lost." says Coulson getting up and walking to the living room

"Me too." says Skye walking out with Simmons and Mack

"So how'd you get in the room?" asks Bobbi hanging back with May and pouring herself a drink

"That is one of the things I'm taking to my grave. Come on, you got to try her chocolate cake."

* * *

"What's in the basement? I mean Melinda told us to stay out but considering Fury gave it to you its got to be something right? It's not another secret base is it?" asks Coulson as he eats his cake

"I believe I owe you a story about how I met Qiaolian's father." says Mrs. May completely ignoring Coulson

"I've heard it before. What's in the basement?" asks Coulson getting up from his seat and walking towards the basement door.

"Its locked. Oh wait it has a fingerprint scanner. Hey it works. How'd you get my fingerprint? Oh my God."

"Qiaolian, go before he destroys it. Anyway I was in undercover in Hong Kong at the time when I first met him."

* * *

"Phil where are you going? It's pitch black down here. Stop and sit" says May as she pulls him down on a couch

"Did you know that this was here? Of course you did. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I would have if it came up. If there was an emergency you would have known."

"Didn't want to ruin your Mom's paradise?"

"That and my mood."

"It's almost time isn't it?" asks Coulson as he checks his watch

"Yep."

"Worried."

"Not in the least."

* * *

The others are laughing by the time they come up from the basement.

"So what's down there?" asks Fitz

May and Coulson look at each other and silently agree not to tell anyone.

"Classified." they both say as the doorbell rings

"Oh that must be Andrew. Go answer the door Qiaolian and Bobbi go around back and make sure he doesn't do a runner. Go on you'll have to face him eventually. I'll have Phillip tell them." she says getting up and heading back into the kitchen.

"Tell us what?" asks Skye

"Let's go May. Don't want to keep him waiting." says Bobbi as she grabs May's arm after Coulson gently pushes her towards the door

"Okay. What's going on?" asks Skye from the living room

"Will he do a runner?" asks Bobbi before she to leaves out the side door

"Maybe. Just be prepared." May replies as she reaches the door

"Married!" yells Skye and the ground starts to shake lightly

May can hear Skye running towards her just as she opens the door.

"You were married. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because its private and Melinda doesn't share anything. Just like her Mother. Hi, I'm Doctor Garner. You must be Skye"

* * *

Skye knows. What will her reaction be. Leave a comment.


	6. Andrew Garner and a Breach

I own nothing. Enjoy.

* * *

"You can't leave."

"Why? You gonna stop me."

"No, but I am and I may even enjoy it." says Bobbi standing between Garner and his car

"Andrew good, you met Skye and Bobbi. Come on in. You can head into the study when you finish meeting everyone else." says Mrs. May grabbing Andrew's hand and leading him to the living room

"Everyone else? How many people are here?"

"May you have good taste. Skye, you coming to see Simmons' reaction to the good Doctor."

Skye shakes her head no and heads upstairs as May calls after her but gets no response.

"I'll go get her." says Mrs. May walking up the stairs after Skye

* * *

Once May enters the living room she sees Simmons staring at Andrew with her mouth wide open and Fitz trying to get her to close it.

"So I think he still hates me. Where's Skye and your Mom?" asks Coulson approaching May keeping his back to Garner

"He probably does considering he's giving you the death glare. Upstairs. She's upset that I didn't tell her. What did you tell them?"

"That you were married and it just happens to be to Garner. Let's just say they were all shocked. Hunter almost laughed at the idea. Why is he giving me the death glare and not you?"

"Not to interrupt your lovely conversation but am I here for a reason or is this some elaborate prank?" asks Garner

"This would be some prank though wouldn't it." says Simmons from her seat

"It probably is. I mean May making us all drive up here, having dinner with her Mom, me not being able to talk, and learning she's married to you of all people. I mean I know there are hidden cameras here somewhere. Let's watch it and have a good laugh." says Hunter thinking that this is actually a prank

"You're not supposed to talk." whispers Fitz looking at May who looks like she could kill Hunter at any moment

"You've done it now." says Mack who moves closer to Bobbi and away from Mack

"Its not a prank. We need your help." says May looking at Garner with seriousness

* * *

"Didn't my daughter tell you not to go in rooms unless your invited into them." says Mrs. May walking into May's room only to find Skye laying on the bed

"No, she said don't enter any closed rooms and this one was open. So no rules broken. Why didn't she tell me?"

"She has her reasons for doing things. That's what we have in common." Mrs. May replies before sitting on the bed

"You're talking about your reasons about you not wanting her in the field."

"I can see what Qiaolian likes about you. You're right though about me not wanting her in the field. My daughter she protects people it what she does. Especially when its for those she cares about. I always protected her as a child and did my best when she got older but their was a time when I learned that I couldn't do that anymore."

"Bahrain." says Skye as she sits up next to Mrs. May

"Phillip told you then. We still have no idea what happened in there but I thought I lost her. I almost lost her but I didn't and since then I knew I never wanted her back in the field because I worry it may happen again and I'll lose her for good."

"That won't happen though. We protect each other."

"I know and I've seen that but I still worry. I have my reasons for doing things and she has her's. She will always put your well being above her own no matter the cost. Talk with her after Andrew. Now come on downstairs." she says standing up from the bed

Skye follows her lead and loops her arm around Mrs. May's and heads downstairs.

"Now that I've got you alone. How do you feel about nicknames?"

* * *

"So she can cause earthquakes because of some mist." says Garner once he, May, and Coulson are in the study

"Yes. It's rather complicated but Skye's gotten better at explaining it." says Coulson

There's a knock on the door and Mrs. May and Skye walk in.

"Sorry for leaving. Mama May and I had a chat. Don't worry I can call her that now. May, there's no need to apologize. I think I understand what you were trying to do, you might have to clarify it for me later though."

"Come let's leave them be." says Mrs. May walking out the door

"I'll be fine. Go on, I think FitzSimmons are working on their project again. Don't want them to start another fire." says Skye pushing Coulson and May out of the door

"She understands? What did they talk about?"

"I don't think she'll tell me even if I ask."

* * *

Bobbi is in the living room when May and Coulson enter.

"Mack is making sure FitzSimmons aren't starting on fire. Hunter I believe is in the kitchen on dish duty with your mother. She's talking his ear off."

"Good. Now he'll know what it feels like." says May sitting next to Bobbi

"You should have seen Simmons, her plate and jaw almost hit the floor."

"I'm not telling you anything about my relationship with him."

"I don't expect you to but I can see it. A young you and a young him. Very hot." says Bobbi smirking at May and a now coughing Coulson

"What? I don't see it." says Coulson

"That's because you're a guy." says Bobbi

"No. It's because I prefer to consider what's on the inside not just what's on the outside."

"They never got along did they?" asks Bobbi

"Nope." replies May

"Hey. I always tried to get along with him. He always had an issue with me."

* * *

"So do you have any questions for me? I'll talk to Coulson and Melinda about times when we can meet." asks Doctor Garner to Skye once their session finished

"Nope. As long as your willingly to help."

"Even though you just learned I was married to your now S.O."

"Yeah. I'll wait for May will tell me about it. I don't want to anger her."

"That is probably wise."

"What we talk about though that's just between us right?"

"Yes. Even SHIELD allows doctor patient privilege. I'll only tell them about your progress and whatever else you want me to tell them. But Skye you can tell them whatever you want them to know if you want. What you told me about what you think about them, you should tell them."

"Maybe. I'll send them in." says Skye walking out of the room and into the living room where Bobbi, May, and Coulson are chatting

"He wants to see you two. Where are the others?"

"The patio. You guys go join them, we may be awhile." says Coulson as he and May walk to the study

* * *

"I think its safer if you come to the base for your sessions with Skye. Just in case. It's either that or May has to come with. " says Coulson

"Why is that?"

"I'm the only one that can calm her down successfully if her powers get out of hand. We'll reimburse you of course." says May

"She told me that. You two have gotten close. Both of you."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No. Its fine. I think its good for her and you, Melinda."

"I hear a but coming, don't you hear a but coming." says Coulson glancing at May

"I know you're one of the best and you wouldn't endanger her or your team but you told me you were never going back into the field. You took yourself out for a reason Melinda. What if you… " says Andrew not really wanting to finish his sentence

"What if I what Andrew. What if I snap? I think about that everyday. That it could happen at any moment and if I come close I'll take myself out. I'll go back to a desk." answers May in a deadly tone

"Okay. Even though we're not married anymore doesn't mean I can't worry about your well being. I'm going to go to say my farewell to your mother." he answers and leaves the two

"My desk. Don't argue May, you're practically in charge half the time anyway. If that should happen to you, I'll take care of you no matter what happens. It's what we do." says Coulson facing May with a slight smile before walking out after Andrew

* * *

"What's wrong? Why are you guys in here?" asks May when sees her mothers face after she enters the living room.

"The alarms been tripped, someone is coming. Fifteen minutes out."

"I thought this place was off the grid." says May walking over to a table reaching underneath searching for something

"It is. No one knows about this place. You must have been followed. I moved the guns. Try under the couch and I'll get the ones from the coat closet." says Mrs. May walking towards said closet pulling out some weapons

"I wasn't followed and if anyone was followed it was Andrew. Phil with me, we have to move the cars. Morse, Hunter after we move the cars make sure there are no tracks then get on the roof." says May before she flips the couch over

"Skye, Mack make sure no lights are on. One of you in the kitchen and the other in living room. They shouldn't be able to see you because of the two way windows but stay out of sight."

"I'll take the other two with me to the surveillance room. Lockdown will be in five minutes." says Mrs May as she starts to hand the weapons from the closet

"What about me?" asks Andrew in disbelief that this is actually happening

"You remember how to shoot?" asks May handing him a gun

"Yeah and I wasn't followed. I know a tail when I see one."

"Sure you do. Stay with Skye and Mack."

* * *

I wonder whose coming to the house. Leave a comment


	7. Defending the House

I own nothing.

A portion of this chapter is loosely inspired by the office episode Dinner Party. If you haven't seen it you should it however doesn't have the amount of action and hilariousness that ensues in this chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

"I know this is a very serious situation but that was awesome. Who knew Mama May had so many weapons? Did you Doc?"

"I probably had some idea but not to this extent."

"Nothing in the back. Do you think this happens to anyone else or is it just us?" says Mack

"You mean prepping for a potential fire fight at Mama May's house of all places. Yeah, just us." responds Skye before crouching down behind the couch

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"What happens when you initiate the lockdown?" asks Simmons sitting in a chair next to Mrs. May

"Let's just say it will be impossible to enter this house."

"You are awesome." says Fitz

"So I've been told. Now what are you two making? It's not a tracker is it? I already have one in Qiaolian." says Mrs. May as she presses the lockdown button

"How'd you know? You put a tracker in your daughter." says Simmons

"She's probably done the same to you guys." says Mrs. May as she looks at the monitors while Fitz and Simmons start checking their bodies for any places where a tracker could go.

"When did SHIELD start up cloning program?" asks Mrs. May pointing to the screen

"This is not good."

* * *

"I bet you're happy now." says Coulson as he and May hide behind trees near the driveway

"Why is that? Stop moving Phil. I hear footsteps."

"You may get to shoot someone before the night is over."

"My type of party. Shhh, they're getting closer."

"I only see two of them. What are they carrying?"

"Looks like wine and wine glasses."

"What in the world? Oh no."

* * *

Skye, Mack, and Doctor Garner are in the living room when they hear banging on the door.

"Could you be any louder? Why are we here?" says an computerized voice

"What? There's no door handle."

"Why are we here, Ward?"

"Garret once told me that Fury had a house out here and he may have given it May's Mother as a gift."

"Still doesn't explain why we're here and why you brought wine."

"To eat dinner and to party. Have you ever been to a dinner party before? Maybe there's a working door around back."

* * *

"Ward has really lost it." whispers Hunter to Bobbi as they observe Ward and Agent 33 walking to the back of the house

"Quiet." hisses Bobbi

* * *

"Even if Mrs. May is here, I think she can tell that I'm not her daughter. What are you hoping she doesn't see the giant scar or hear my voice?" asks Agent 33 as they reach the back door.

"We just need to get in. Have a friendly chat with Mrs. May and convince her to invite her daughter and the others over for dinner." says Ward as he pulls out his gun and starts shooting at the door.

"You have officially lost it. She might not even live here, have you considered that. These doors are reinforced steel shooting at it is not going to work."

"Fine. Try the window."

* * *

"May, where are you going?" says Coulson running after May

"Ward and Agent 33 know where my Mom lives. Where do you think I'm going."

"You can't."

May stops and turns around to face Coulson with a look that could kill him where he stood.

"You want to say that again."

"What I mean is, where are you going to put them for the rest of the night? In the basement? We can't drive around with the two of them in the back of the car tied up and drugged. As much as I would like to do that. We reveal ourselves, then they will definitely know where your Mom lives. It would put a damper on the evening. What we need is a way to track them?"

"Take off your tie." says May walking back in the other direction towards the car that Ward and Agent 33 brought.

* * *

"I just planted those." said Mrs. May as she watches Ward and Agent 33 trample over her colorful flower beds by the patio.

"How much more can those windows take?" says Simmons

"Is there anyway that you could put a stop to this?" asks Fitz

"Of course, I'll just have to redo the patio. Let's just hope your friends on the roof are out of the way." responds Mrs. May

* * *

"What do we do?" asks Bobbi over the noise.

"Maybe they'll leave on their own terms. What in the world is that?" says Lance

In front of them they see panels open and four automated machine guns appear and swivel in the direction of Ward and Agent 33.

"I think I may be a little in love with Mrs. May. Cover your ears." says Bobbi

* * *

"You put a tracker in my tie. Why would you do that?"

"You got lost in a Costco, Phil, a Costco. Why do you think? Put the tracker over there."

"What about the others? Do you have trackers on them?"

May doesn't get a chance to respond because of the sound of gunfire.

"That can't be Hunter and Bobbi. They don't have that kind of fire power."

"Neither does Ward."

"Your Mom is so cool. She's scaring them away." says Coulson pulling May back into the woods

* * *

"Where did those guns come from?" asks Skye as she watches Ward and Agent 33 run away

"I had automated machine guns installed on the roof in case of emergencies." says Mrs. May as she walks downstairs with FitzSimmons trailing behind her

"Alright Mama May. Are they gone?"

"Yeah. They ran for the hills. Now let us in." yells Hunter from outside

"So you do talk." says Mrs. May as she let's them in

"He's not supposed to. Where are May and Coulson?" asks Bobbi

"Securing the perimeter probably and most likely making sure that Ward and Agent 33 are gone. " answers Mack

"If they're smart, they won't come back." says Simmons

* * *

"It's all clear." says Coulson as he and May return to the house.

"It's too bad we couldn't capture them." says Fitz

"Don't worry. We put a tracker on the car." responds Coulson now glaring at May

"How? Do you just happen to tracker have a tracker on you at all times." says Bobbi

"It's true then. You do put trackers on us." says Simmons now pointing accusingly at May

"That is a violation of privacy, May." says Mack to May as Coulson nods

"Excuse me for caring."

"I'm fine with it." says Skye

"Really." says Simmons

"Yeah. I mean if I get kidnapped again it means that you'll at least know where I am."

"Well when you put it that way I guess its okay. May you can continue to track us." says Coulson

"Like you actually have a say in the matter." says May

* * *

That was fun to write. Bedtime is coming up.


	8. Bedtime Conversations and Farewells

I own nothing. Thanks for the comments. Enjoy.

* * *

"Well I think I've had enough excitement than I wanted this evening. I'm not as young as I used to be so I'll bid you guys goodnight." says Mrs. May getting ready to head upstairs

"I guess I'll be on my way as well. Thank you for having me Mrs. May. It's been an interesting night." says Doctor Garner

"Andrew you are staying the night. I won't have you driving out this late especially with what just happened."

"I'll be fine. I only live two hours away. All your rooms are already taken. I wouldn't want to impose."

"It wouldn't be an inconvenience if you stayed. I'll already have this bunch. You can have the pull out couch since Phillip is sleeping with Qiaolian." she says before walking upstairs not noticing the others stare between Coulson and May

"She didn't mean it like that. I mean I am sleeping with May just not in that sense. We're just sharing a bed. Skye this isn't funny. May help me out here." says Coulson looking around for May

"Where'd she go?" asks Coulson

"How does she do that?" asks Simmons

* * *

"This was fun. Think we can come up here for the holidays." says Skye laying in bed next to Simmons

"If we can take a break in saving the world. I wouldn't mind." says Bobbi from the other bed in the room

"Yeah. Just imagine how pretty everything will be when it snows. We could go ice skating." says Simmons

"Or fall straight through the ice." says Bobbi laughing along with Simmons

"Skye, where are you going? Don't crawl over me?" asks Simmons as Skye almost kicks her in the head and walks out of the room

* * *

Skye walks out of the room and notices that the attic is open. So naturally Skye decides to go and explore the attic especially since she's not breaking one of May's rules. Skye decides not to open up any of the boxes in the attic frankly because she's scared something may pop out and kill her. Skye instead moves on to the open window and walks onto the roof.

"Wow." says Skye as she looks up at the stars in the sky

"I know. Why aren't you asleep?" asks May

"I could ask you the same question." says Skye as she sits next to May on the roof

"Just thinking."

"About the old days."

"Sort of. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you making presumptions about Andrew just because of my previous relationship with him. I wanted him to help you and I wanted you to let him."

"I know."

"Don't you what to know what happened."

"Sort of but I don't want to pry."

"Its not prying if I tell you."

"Just give me a brief summary."

"We were young and we loved each other but maybe it just wasn't strong enough. Then I was broken, angry, and learned I couldn't be who I was anymore. So I pushed him away and he never pushed back."

Skye doesn't say anything after that and the two of them just sitting there looking at the stars. After Skye yawns, May decides it time for the two of them to go to bed.

"Come on. We have an early start tomorrow."

"You're not waking me up for training are you? We're on vacation May." says Skye as they go through the window

"Vacation? What makes you think we're on vacation?"

"Well I wouldn't call this a mission would you?" asks Skye as they exit the attic

"If this was a mission, I would have shot someone by now."

"Can you guys have this conversation somewhere else?" asks Coulson as he pokes his head out of May's room

"We're just finishing up Phil. God, it's not my fault you have a ritual before you go to bed."

"It's not a ritual. Oh, can I have the left side of the bed there was a lump on the right side. Was that a gun?"

"Either that or a grenade and I don't care what side you sleep on."

"Cool. I'll think move whatever it is on the night stand. Night Skye." says Coulson before he goes back into the room

"Ritual?" asks Skye

"Don't ask. Night Skye." answers May walking in after Coulson

"Would you ever consider getting married again?"

The only answer Skye gets is the door closing in her face.

* * *

"Even after a last night, you're still up at the crack of dawn." says Andrew to May as she does her tai-chi on the patio

"I forgot that you don't talk to anyone while you do this. You give Skye the morning off? You're getting soft Melinda."

"Soft. That word has never been used to describe May. You're lucky I couldn't sleep in." says Skye now joining May in routine

"Give my regards to your mother. I'll see you both soon." says Andrew to the pair of them before he walks back into the house.

As he goes to exit the kitchen he walks straight into Mrs. May

"Not saying goodbye Andrew." says Mrs. May as she walks into the kitchen and puts a teapot on the stove.

"I see waking up early is hereditary. I didn't want to disturb you Mrs. May. I have an early appointment to get to."

"Alright then. Keep in touch. We should do lunch sometime."

"Will do. I'll let you know when I get home."

"Thank you. Stay safe." says Mrs. May as she sees Doctor Garner out the door.

"Now where did they put the cars?" asks Doctor Garner as he walks out to an empty driveway

* * *

An interesting breakfast is coming up.


	9. A Breakfast Surprise

I own nothing. Thanks for reading.

* * *

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Mrs. May set out fruit, cereal, bread for toasting, juice, milk, coffee, and tea.

The team slowly made their way downstairs, some dressed and others still in their sleep ware.

"My patio is worse off than I thought. I didn't think the bullets would hit the fountain." says Mrs. May

"Well you have two options. Get rid of the guns or move the fountain back further." replies May

"I'll move the fountain. Looks like I found something to bide my time with now."

"Sorry about that."

"No need to apologize Qiaolian. I been wanting a good reason to test those guns out."

There is laughter after that comment before Coulson runs into the room.

"We may have a problem." he says almost out of breath

"There is always a problem with you Phillip. What is it?" asks Mrs. May

"Well, I was outside moving the cars back to the driveway when I saw blue lights flashing. I think the cops are driving up the main road. What if someone reported hearing gunshots in this area?"

"So someone else does live around here. Well we can't hide from them. What do we do?" asks Skye

"We need to destroy the patio. If they do come here, they can't see the bullet holes and if they don't I can pay less money to the landscaping company. There are some mallets in the shed." says Mrs. May

"Well anyone who ever wanted to destroy a patio come with me." says Coulson walking outside with Mack and Bobbi following him.

* * *

"What are we doing out here again?"

"Someone reported hearing gunshots out here last night? The captain thought we should check it out."

"I don't think anyone lives out here. If there were gunshots, the people responsible are most likely long gone."

"If you're right, I owe you lunch."

"Hey, is that a new road?"

* * *

"Uh oh, here comes the fuzz." says Mack pointing to the cop car pulling up into the driveway

"Let's just hope they don't ask a lot of questions." says Bobbi as one cop walks towards them and the other towards the front door.

"Do you folks live here?" ask the cop as he reaches the patio

"No. We're just visiting my mother-in-law. Had a little get together last night." answers Coulson

"Well someone heard gunshots in the area, did you guys hear anything?" he asks as he walks around the patio

"Nope." answers Mack as Bobbi shakes her head in agreement

"Doing a little home improvement?" asks the cop taking in the destroyed patio

"Yeah. Thought we'd give my mother-in-law a hand. She wants to redo the whole backyard. It's the second time she's done that." says Coulson

"I don't think I've ever known a son-in-law so considerate." responds the cop

"Well I owe her a lot since she gave birth to my wife."

* * *

The others are in the living room when the doorbell rings.

"What do we do? What do we say?" asks Simmons clearly worried that something bad will happen

"The truth." says Mrs. May as she gets up to answer the door

"Which is?" asks Fitz

"We had a dinner party." answers May

"Can I help you officer?" asks Mrs. May once she opened the door

"I have a couple of questions to ask you, ma'am. Do you mind if I come in?" asks the cop

"Of course. Can I get you anything?" asks Mrs. May as she leads him to the living room where the others were

"No thank you. There were reports of gunfire in the area last night. Did you hear anything?"

"No we didn't hear anything of the sort last night." says Mrs. May

"I figured. Not a lot of people live up here. Actually my partner and I didn't even know this house or the road you lived on existed."

"Yes, well I recently moved up since my retirement. It's quite a beautiful spot."

"It is isn't it. What's going on out there?" asks the cop gesturing to the patio

"A little home improvement." says Skye

"Yes, I had my son-in-law take a mallet to the patio. Wanted a change."

"Son-in-law?" asked Fitz

"I can't believe you forgot. We just tied the knot a couple of months ago. Thought we'd have a small get together to catch up." says May with hearts in her eyes

"Congratulations. Thank you for your time. I'll show myself out." says the cop as he exits the house

* * *

"Looks like I owe you lunch. Weird bunch wouldn't you say." says the cop as he gets in the car

"Definitely weird. The front door didn't even have a handle on it."

* * *

"So what story did you give them?" asks Bobbi once she, Mack , and Coulson were back inside

"We had a small gathering to catch up since May and Coulson got married." replies Simmons

"Really. May and Coulson were married in ours too. Coulson said that he was glad that Mrs. May gave birth to May."

"You said what?!" says May as she spits out her hot tea onto Hunter's face

"What? It's the truth. At least we had similar stories. Who brought up the marriage?" asks Coulson

"Mama May did and Fitz questioned it. So May had to say something." says Skye as she hands Hunter a napkin

"What you need is a better cover story just in case this happens again. Remember what I taught you Qiaolian."

"Always be prepared. No matter the situation."

* * *

They're Leaving next chapter. Sad face.


	10. Leaving

Thanks for reading. I own nothing

* * *

"May stand still." says Skye holding a camera

"Why is it taking so long for you to take a picture? You take one almost every single day with Simmons."

"I need a clear shot for the facial recognition. Are you not going to smile?"

"It may not recognize me if I smile."

"True. Got it and uploading now. Should be good to go now."

* * *

"Sorry we couldn't give you a gift Mrs. May." says Fitz as he and Simmons wait by the cars

"That's alright Leopold. Meeting you both was a gift in itself." Mrs. May replies while patting them both on their faces

"Fitz, I actually have an idea of what we can get her. Hand me pen." says Simmons when Mrs. May walks away

* * *

"It was a pleasure Mrs. May. Next time you'll have to let me cook." says Mack as he shakes her hand

"You really should Mrs. May. He makes mean lasagna." says Bobbi

"I look forward to it. And maybe next time, the mercenary and I can have a proper two sided conversation." says Mrs. May to sulking Hunter who is already sitting in the car

* * *

Mrs. May walks back to the front of the house where Coulson is waiting for May and Skye.

"What are they doing?" asks Mrs. May

"Uploading May's picture for your door."

"I never thought I'd see Qiaolian as an S.O. again. Skye's good for her. So are you Phillip."

"I know. She's good for me too. Both of them. Don't worry I'll look after them."

"Thank you." says Mrs. May as Skye comes out of the house

"May's making sure no one left anything. I just remembered I have one more question to ask you." says Skye

"Make it quick Skye. See you later Mrs. May." says Coulson as he walks towards the car.

"Did you teach May hate-fu? She won't tell me where she learned it from."

"Hate-fu?" asks Mrs. May not understanding Skye's question

"You know, control over your body and mind and all that jazz."

"That is the one thing I didn't teach her. I have no idea where she learned that from."

"Oh."

"I know my daughter told you not to bring back any pictures you find back with you. She however never said that I couldn't give you one." says Mrs. May reaching into her jacket pocket and pulling out an old and worn picture and gives it to Skye.

Its one of May and Coulson when they were younger either before or after leaving The Academy. They were both smiling and laughing at something unseen.

"That was a long time ago. Everything was simpler back then happier even before it got worse. But they got through it and so can you Skye. It'll be okay."

"I know. Thanks Mama May." says Skye while she gives her a hug

"You're welcome Skye. You'll keep in touch."

"Of course, maybe you could come to the base sometime or we'll come up here for the holidays."

"We'll see." says May finally walking out of the house

"Really." says Skye in disbelief

"Yes. Now go pick a car."

"You'll be civil with Andrew won't you?" asks Mrs. May once Skye leaves them

"Of course."

"What is it?"

"I don't like the idea of you living out here by yourself. What if what happened last night happens again? What if you get hurt?"

"I'll be fine Qiaolian. If anyone succeeds in breaking into that house I'll be long gone by then. You've seen the basement. If anything does happen you'll be the first to know. You have enough on your plate."

"I know." says May while looking behind her at the cars

"You've done right by her and your team. You should be proud of them just like I'm proud of you. You've come a long way Qiaolian. It doesn't matter what I think about your line of work. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"I'm content."

"Then I'm content. Stay safe."

"I will. I'll call when we're back." says May walking back towards the cars and enters the drivers side of one of the cars.

The cars pull out of the driveway and leave a waving and smirking Mrs. May behind.

"Finally. We're gone. I can't believe I didn't talk that whole time. I hope you're ready May, we got two hours of this." says Hunter from the backseat.

"I am so going to kill Coulson."

* * *

Thanks for reading guys. I'm going to post a bonus chapter that has some deleted scenes I guess. I may even reveal what's in the basement. If you want a certain deleted scene, leave a comment.


	11. Bonus

Glad you guys enjoyed the story. Here's a bonus chapter. I own nothing

* * *

_Ward and Agent 33 fleeing_

"Don't even say it." says Ward speeding down the road in the car

"Say what that I was right." says Agent 33 not even looking at Ward

"No you were wrong. Someone was there. How else would you explain the guns?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe we set off an alarm?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Obviously. You're on your own though if you want to go back. I'm not risking my life for a dinner party."

* * *

_Delivery for Mrs. May _

Mrs. May is reading in the living room when the doorbell rings.

"Hello Fred, you're here early for the house maintenance."

"I know, but my brother Billy was talking to Agent May about finding a way to ship something to you. So he told me and then my brothers and I decided to make a day out of it. I hope we're not interrupting." he says gesturing to the patio where his two brothers were moving something into the back yard.

"Not in the least. It's always good to see some friendly faces. What did my daughter send me?"

"I was told to give you this." he says as he hands Mrs. May an envelope with her name on it

"Sam go the shed and find the ladder. You're going on the roof." says Fred as he exits the house

_Dear Mrs. (Mama) May,_

_I know you said that we didn't have to get you a gift but we thought of something that you might enjoy. We made you a bulletproof fountain and paving slabs, don't worry its all in good taste. We also have silencers for your roof guns so you won't get another surprise visit from the cops._

_Love,_

_The team_

_P.S. _

_May said that if nothing comes up, you can come up for her birthday. I still have no idea when that is though._

_Skye_

* * *

_Want to get back at May? _

"What's wrong Hunter? Only a couple more minutes until you can officially talk again." says Mack as he settles into the drivers seat

"Nothing I just can't believe I managed it."

"You mean you can't believe you listened to May." says Bobbi from the back

"That too."

"You want to get her back?" asks Coulson once he reaches their car

"May? No way she will definitely shoot me again when she's sure I'm not wearing a vest."

"Why is May going to shoot you?" asks Skye when she arrives at the car

"Coulson wants me to get back at May." says Hunter

"I'll take the blame. She'll know that you're not brave enough to try something like this without my go ahead." says Coulson

"It's your funeral mate. What did you have in mind?"

"You and her are going to be the only two people in that car for the first two hours. You can talk her ear off and she has no where to go."

"That's genius sir but I fear for your life." says Mack

"So do I. I think Mrs. May is going to help us. Get ready to get in the car on my signal."

Coulson waves his arm when he sees that May and her mother are enwrapped in their conversation.

"I think we should go with his blue tie and gray suit." says Skye to the others once Coulson gets in the car

"What's this for?" he asks

"Your funeral sir. Just in case we find your body."

* * *

_Please don't kill me _

"Are you scared?" asks Bobbi once they pull into the shopping center and saw the other car sitting in the parking lot. Hunter leaning against the car and May was no where in sight.

Once they got on the highway, they lost sight of the car that May was in. Hunter texted them and said that he's never seen May this angry before.

"Just a tad. I'm pretty sure May won't kill me." replies Coulson

"How sure?" asks Fitz

"Ninety percent."

"We'll get you a nice arrangement of flowers, sir." says Simmons

"Does anyone see her?" asks Skye

"No. Maybe she decided to let it go." says Fitz

"Let it go. May doesn't let anything go ahhh! Don't hurt me May. Please don't hurt me." says Coulson as the door opens and he's pulled out and slammed into the car

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you." says May as she presses Coulson up against the car while holding a gun inches away from his face

"Because I'm your boss and friend. Also you said you'd never shoot me in the head." the last part Coulson says in a soft voice

"Things change Phil and those aren't good enough reasons." she says as her finger is itching to pull the trigger

"Whose gonna run SHIELD then if I'm gone?"

"I could do it. According to you, I half in charge anyway."

"She's got you there." says Skye as the others nod

"Not. Helping."

May starts to countdown from five and reaches one before Coulson blurts out

"You couldn't live with yourself if you did it. At least like this."

May stands down and lowers her weapon.

"You owe me." says May walking away from the car

"I'll make it up to you. I promise. We'll do something special. I'll cook you dinner, breakfast, or both. I don't care how long it takes. You will forgive me." says Coulson as he runs after May

* * *

_What's in the Basement? _

"What are looking at?" asks Simmons when she sees Skye going over some papers.

"Blueprints of Mama May's house."

"How did you get them and why?"

"Hacker remember. I'm trying to see what's in the basement."

"What have you found?"

"Its huge, it looks like it runs under the lake. Is that a airplane hanger under the lake? It must be bigger than the Playground."

"So what its an underground base."

"Looks like."

"Mrs. May is living on top of a secret SHIELD base."

"Yep." says May walking up to the two of them

"And she's okay with that?" asks Skye

"At first no. When she found out she almost shot Fury. Then once she had time to think about it she said that SHIELD would probably be safer under her roof anyway."

* * *

_Stop talking Phil and go to sleep _

"What were you and Skye talking about?" asks Coulson as he lays next to May whose trying to sleep

"Nothing that concerns you." she replies before she turns on her side facing away from Coulson

"What if I order you to tell me?"

"I'd say it still doesn't concern you. Is there a reason you're yapping instead of sleeping."

"Just been awhile since we've had a proper conversation that doesn't involve work."

May doesn't say anything after that but there is a rustling of sheets and Coulson thinks that May's asleep until he hears her sigh.

"I'll give you five minutes, you talk about anything to your heart's content. You can't talk about work, Captain America, and work."

"You said that twice May."

"I know what I said. Just chose something so I can go to bed."

"Fine but you have to at least roll over. I'm not having a conversation with your back."

May rolls onto her back and turns her head to face Coulson who is smiling at her.

"Happy."

"Very. Now what shall we talk about."

* * *

Once again I'm glad you guys enjoyed my story. I'm thinking of posting a semi-sequel.


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